


Life isn't always what it seems

by Emerald_Alex



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, I'm sorry for the tears, IStandWithMelissa, Kara Danvers is a survivor of abuse, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21684247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emerald_Alex/pseuds/Emerald_Alex
Summary: Inspired by Melissa Benoist's video "Life isn't always what it seems" where she reveals she is a survivor of abuse. Supergirl reveals some pretty heavy stuff in a interview for Catco.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Life isn't always what it seems

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there ! As many people Melissa Benoit's video touched me profoundly and I got inspired. This is some pretty heavy stuff so don't read if abusive relationships are a trigger for you (take care of yourself <3). If you are or know someone in an abusive relationship, there are helplines you can call and shelter to protect victims : you are not alone. (Also I'm french so please excuse the mistakes ><)

"Hello everyone this is Nia Nal for CatCo Wide Media. Today is the 25 of November or the international day for the elimination of violence against woman and I’m here with Supergirl who has a story to share. Physical domestic abuse is an horrific situation one woman out of 4 is victim of, here in the USA, and we estimate the number of victims per year to be 4,774,000. If you ever experiment abuse or know people who do then please, please, contact the authorities or the shelters for victims of abuse. You will find the numbers in the banner below. The young journalist was serious while speaking, which was very unusual for the passionate woman the public was used to. She then turned to Nation City’s heroin. There is no need to introduce you: you have protected again and again this city for 5 years now. Despite this you always want to do more, to help more: which is why you are here. Thank you for choosing to share your story with us today. 

\- Thank you for welcoming me, the blond finally spoke with a sad smile and seemed to be picking each of her words carefully. We tend to think that this kind of abuse can only happen to passive and lonely people or people who seem less vindictive. That’s not true, life isn’t always what it seems. It can happen to anyone and I think I’m a good proof of that. I… She looked down, took a deep breath and stared at the camera. I am a survivor of domestic violence. I have superstrength, very few things can physically wound me and I have amazing people in my life who have always looked out for me but none of this stopped me from being a victim of abuse. I, erm, it happened before I became Supergirl and with someone who had no idea who I really was and never did… I was 21 when I met this guy, I had dated a bit before but well it’s kind of hard to find people with shared experience, she had a humorless laugh, like a hiccup, and tears in her eyes. So he was one of my first serious relationship… He was funny and smart and had had a complicated childhood riddled with harassment. He made me laugh and I guess I have always wanted to save people so we kept seeing each other. Everyone liked him, even my very protective sister and mother. After only a month of knowing each other we started dating. And everything was great at the beginning. Of course not everyday was perfect, he had hard time trusting and I have my fair share of emotional baggage but we stuck by each other and I had the feeling that I was helping him improve. We moved in together and again the beginning seemed fine. Looking back there were red flags but I made excuses or simply didn’t know that a relationship wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was jealous and kept asking me where and with whom I was going but it wasn’t all the time and he had been cheated on before so I just ignored it and answered him honestly. As I said before he was smart, things started easy and nice and, he, erm… he… She held back tears and had to take a few deep breaths before being able to continue. 2 months after we started living together I had to send him a text every hours when I wasn’t with him and every thirty minutes when I was out with friends. At the beginning I would forget it and come home to him waiting for me in tears, telling me he thought I was cheating on him, that I didn’t really love him, that I was just like the ones who hurt him. I wanted him to be happy, to know he could trust me and it didn’t seem like a big deal at the time so I ended up by sending him a text with my GPS location and pictures of people I was with. It even became an habit and I thought it would make him trust me and just, I guess, trust again on a general way. It only got worse. He… he became more controlling, insisted on vouching for every friend I had. So I just stopped meeting new people, started going out less because I didn’t want him to feel lonely and abandoned. I always loved talking to people, have always been a very social person so it hurt to stop all of a sudden but more importantly it made him the absolute center of my life. He was the only person I talked to outside of my family. I mean actually talked to not just small talk because I stayed cordial to my colleagues. I even started to steer away for my sister, whom I am extremely close to, and I was already talking less to my foster mom because of the distance and I completely stopped during that time. I only saw him and I was afraid of interacting with people in fear of hurting him. She repressed a sob, took a few minutes while the journalist waited patiently for her to continue her story. She breathed profoundly one last time and kept going. He had me so focused on his well being, it was the only thing I thought about. I didn’t even care about what was happening to me, which was something I already had trouble with, he only made it worse. I-I… I only judged my actions on how they would affect him; I only judged myself on how I was impacting him. My entire self-worth was reduced to my capacity to help him heal. And he… he played with it. I was ready to do anything that could have the tiniest chance to help him and would beat myself up if it did not succeed, which it almost never did. And there were some times where he would thank me, tell me how happy I made him, how I was helping him trust people again, how I did him so much good. So every time I felt like it was too much I would think about it and just stay. She stopped talking, seemingly lost in her memories. 

\- We can stop here or if you want to take a break… Nia softly said. 

\- No… it’s- it’s okay. If I stop now I’m not sure I will be able to start again. 

\- All right. Unsure she looked at her friend and mentor but kept going knowing how important this was. Did he ever hit you? 

\- He never punched me or he would probably have discovered I was not human but he would throw, erm, things at me… And since I didn’t bruised once he started he never stopped. I kept telling myself that I could handle it because, well, I was stronger than him and he didn’t really hurt me. Physically I mean. I never fought back, I was terrorized, petrified at the prospect of hurting him. Because of this I became his way to let out all of his anger and frustration out: he’d scream at me, throw stuff and had- erm, satisfied whatever he wanted with me. I became a shell of myself and let him do whatever he wanted, I stopped sleeping, stopped eating, which because of my metabolism didn’t show. My colleagues just thought I was a bit tired: I was still smiling to people just… just isolating myself bits by bits. I stopped myself from feeling anything, I was not even crying. 

\- How did you escaped? 

\- My sister actually. She is my hero… She had a first real smile, even if it was considerably weaker than usual. One day he had to go for a few days to a work thing at the other side of the country and he couldn’t bring me with him. I was left alone with the strict order to text him all the time and call him the second he asked. The worst thing is that it didn’t even cross my mind to disobey. Physically speaking there was nothing he could do against me but he had me so lost in his trap, so full of guilt, so gone that I would have done anything… And I still thought until the very end that I could help him, that I had to help him and that it was my fault if he wasn’t better yet….

\- You, erm, you were talking about your sister…

\- Right yes… She came to see me during those days and almost forced to leave the house and go to her apartment where she sat me down to talk to me. She was suspicious for some time already but she never had the opportunity to actually talked to me one on one because he tried his best to stop me from seeing her… She suspended her sentence for a few second and blinked away tears. When I, when she finally got to talk to me I was already so far gone. She did a very best to make me think about other things, tried to take my phone but the only thing that was on my mind was him and how mad he was going to be. She ended up breaking my phone from rage because she couldn’t get me to stop texting him. I screamed at her, she screamed back, trying to get me to see what was going on. It wasn’t pretty and she may have handled it differently but these situations are so complicated… Anyway, the more she talked, well shouted, the more I knew deep down that she was right but I tried to convince myself of the contrary. I even tried to leave the room but the door was locked. Normally ripping a door open is as easy as opening mail for me but I had gotten so weak in the last month that I was unable to even move it. I fell to the ground and ended up crying, for the first time since months of abuse. She held me close, and I fell asleep in her arms. When I woke up she was still there, she never let go. I cried again and we finally talked. I agree to break with him, changed my mind a few dozen times, feeling like I was abandoning him so she called my foster mom. When she came, we spend two other days just the 3 of us, they had all of my favorite things but I had to force food down my stomach and ended up vomiting most of it. I think I mainly cried, slept and puked those two days. Since my phone was dead, he couldn’t contact me and being away from him made me finally truly realize how awful the last year had been. When he came back, my sister helped me meet him in a public place where I finally managed to break up with him. It was easily one of the hardest thing I ever did, and I had to leave my parents on our exploding planet… She had that humorless laugh again and looked exhausted. My sister had emptied our apartment of my things but I ended up throwing away almost everything because it reminded me too much of him. 

\- It is amazing that you managed to leave him but it must have affected you for a long time even after the break up. 

\- Of course. It still does today. Relationships are extremely hard for me, I have trouble giving my trust and the smallest lie can destroy me. He made me feel worthless and trapped which is something I have not completely recovered from yet. I don’t know if I ever really will. 

\- You are a symbol of hope, strength and kindness. How do you keep smiling after something like this happens to you? 

\- Well first of all, I am feeling better, I did therapy and it was a few years ago. I am still healing but I have my friends and my family supporting me. Secondly I think it is almost because I know what pain and traumatism feels like that I can enjoy little things and give people the benefit of the doubt: you don’t know what their story is. It’s important to never lose hope, I know what it is like to not have any and I never, ever, want to feel like this again. So if I can help people to keep their head up, keep fighting and keep hoping: I will. 

\- Is this why you decided to share your story? 

\- Yes. I don’t like sharing my private life on the medias but… It’s important that people realize domestic abuse can happen to anyone, even super powered aliens. She stared at the camera, talking this time directly to the spectators. Despite everything that happened… I choose to love, I don’t choose to minimize my life out of fear. I choose to love myself, to know that love does not include violence, and to let victims know that there is a way out in which you will be protected. If you are enduring what I went through and you see this, maybe you will find this tiny straw that will break the camel’s back, or at least you might begin to think of your freedom. In which case, I am here. I am with you, and you can and deserve to live a violence-free life. 

\- Thank you for sharing with us. It must have been very hard but I am sure it will help many people. Nia finally smiled, not joyous per say but kind. This was Nia Nal for CatCo World Wide Media with a special edition for the 25th of November. Thank your for your attention.”

**Author's Note:**

> Some numbers you can call  
> 1−800−799−7233 (US)  
> 0808 8010327 (for men)  
> 0808 80 10 800 (Wales)   
> 0800 999 5428 (For LGBT+)


End file.
